tears collected.

i called my spiritual mom and dad from back home tonight. there was a lot on my heart, and I need(ed) Godly wisdom. It was definitely pride that held me back from calling them for this long(literally months!). But I’m so glad I eventually did.

During part of it, as tired-but-honest-heart tears were emerging, Jim said something that just made my heart explode. Instantly, my desire to run to Jesus in repentance overwhelmed me.

In summary..this is what he said.

There are days when you don’t talk to God. and these tears? these tears can and will be a reminder of the fact that often times although WE are the ones to cry because of what is happening with us and those we love…God has the same tears when we make a decision to forfeit HIM for a day, or forget to spend time with Him…or just get lost and don’t realize how you’re acting toward HIM… and you can remember that he knows EXACTLY what you are feeling right now.

He then followed up with a true reminder of the fact that in feeling that way, He wants to heal us with his peace and fill us with the comfort of the Holy Spirit! 

Perhaps to you, the reader, it sounds a bit cliche. But truly…how many times do we cry out to God only to forget that He knows exactly what we’re feeling?

So it’s true. I will remember this night, and these tears. Because they are significant not to me, but to God. Every. Single. One. And I will remember that He cried them first.

You have kept count of my tossings;
   put my tears in your bottle. 
   Are they not in your book?   

This I know, that^[d] God is for me.

In God, whose word I praise, in the LORD, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. 

   What can man do to me? I must perform my vows to you, O God; I will render thank offerings to you. For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life. // Psalm 56: 8-13